Sick of Food

That's right, I've had it. In the last 4 years of my life alone, I've wrangled more with food than a fork in a plate of twisted spaghetti. Some bullets from my (dys)functional resume for my next job as an evil scientist somewhere in the food industry....

• Happily heading in the right health direction after baby #4
• Realizing that surprise! baby #5 is helping eat off the last few pounds
• Surviving the 10 weeks of bed riddening all day "morning sickness" that left me eating only grilled mozzarella on white bread sandwiches, rice, plain pasta, and seltzer water.
• Watching 200 pass on the scale for the second time in my life.
• Losing 50 lbs in 6 mos after learning that baby #4 , age 3.5, has a genetic disorder, autism and all bets are off for newborn baby #5
• Reading every bit of the dietary guidelines for children with autism to include the nearly unpalatable GCF diet.
• Holding kids through blood draws, skin prick testing, food challenges, ENT scoping, barium swallows
• Panicking when I've left the house without an epipen
• Driving in DC traffic with little one vomiting from anesthesia after upper/lower GI investigative studies
• Listening to more than one endocrinologist, gastroenterologist, allergist say "I don't know... that's really the area of an ____ " (insert name of another specialist)
• Having my primary care manager tell me I had a "myopic" view of the world - didn't you just hear that I'm also looking at homeopathic aids to my health?
• Rereading Eat Right For Your Type - that's how I got it together in my 30's
• Reading Entering the Zone, Mastering the Zone and Toxic Fat - that's what everyone in the gym is doing
• Reading such literary wisdom as Feeling Fat, Fuzzy and Frazzled?
• Rereading The South Beach Diet - why not, it's on the shelf
• Exploring The Primal Blueprint and Paleo - they are really not that far off Blood Type O
• Suffering the head explosion from all the conflicting information - check out cauliflower, oats or sweet potatoes
• Reading The End of Overeating
• Finding huge quantities of candy and junk food wrappers in teenager rooms, when I never buy the stuff
• Having adverse reactions to medicines my doctor said I just had to take.
• Finding passing solace in a glass of wine, amaretto, or something much stiffer
• Suffering the night sweats that go with such solace at my age
• Weighing, measuring and logging my food
• Eating more vegetables for breakfast than most Americans eat all day
• Denying my Italian heritage and eating 1/2 cup servings of pasta
• Eating meat portions small enough to inhale
• Teaching myself to like scrambled eggs
• Trying to eat a diet rich in nuts in a house with a child who could die from ingesting them
• Inspecting every geometrically shaped food diagram and all the literature about what is wrong with the government's view on nutrition
• Trying to get excited about cooking when your kid is allergic to wheat, corn, oat, barley, rye, milk, eggs, most nuts, and peanuts
• Discovering that it is possible to eat healthy in a restaurant, but not worth the effort
• Realizing that organic food is never going to be in the budget of a family of seven.
• Listening to the grumbles and watching the eyerolls at the suggestion of adding an apple to that teenage grilled cheese sandwich
• Watching the dh do the typical male thing and lose all the necessary weight in 6 weeks, while I hang around my new plateau for who knows how long.
• Trying to remember that NONE of it is necessary for salvation.
• Trying to find the blessing in living in our world of plenty
• Wondering what Heaven will be like; because as I understand it, it won't be guiltless ice cream, but the peace of not having any need, desire, or passion for food at all.

Rant over. Time to go cook dinner.... AGAIN.